True Stories
- True Story Number 1 -- Little Betty
- He needed a present for his little sister ...
- True Story Number 2 -- Martha
- “Oh, no,” he replied, “... we're an antiques shop ...”
- True Story Number 3 -- The Idiot
- I always try to set up a little rapport with the vendor ...
- True Story Number 4 -- The True Collector
- He'd obviously not washed or shaved for days ...
- True Story Number 5 -- The People's Republic
- ... we were nearly knocked off our feet by three pit-bull terriers making an escape bid ...
- True Story Number 6 -- Coming to Visit
- ... and then he collapsed completely ...
- True Story Number 7 -- Queen Bess
- Maybe it was worth breakfast, after all ...
- True Story Number 8 -- Joe
- ... the memory of a love story that failed to bloom until an old man died ...
- True Story Number 9 -- 911
- ... My friend's husband had to display her, in one piece and not bleeding ...
- True Story Number 10 -- 800 Pound Sewing Machine
- A deal is a deal ... but he's still not getting that motorcycle!
- True Story Number 11 -- The Wake
- ... the relatives were sharing out the estate under the watchful eye of the recently departed ...
- True Story Number 12 -- The Phonograph Horn
- I don't suppose you've got any phonograph horns?
- True Story Number 13 -- The Honour of an Irishman
- I like to think of him flinching a little every time he walks past the Lion ...
- True Story Number 14 -- The Forgotten
- I hang my head in shame ... we had completely forgotten about the deal ...
- True Story Number 15 -- The Plan
- My friend and I walked away and over a cup of tea (much tea is drunk at such affairs) evolved THE PLAN...
- True Story Number 16 -- The Ring
- “Just how many cameras can the police have?”
- True Story Number 17 -- The Holdup, or The Story of ISMACS Member Number 375
- "You can't hold up a plane with an 1886 Moldacot Sewing Machine ... Can you?"